im realli at lost now, dunno where is the bright side, dunno where is the dark side, dunno where is the right path, dunno where is the wrong path. can some gd souls help me out? all u nd to do is to pilot a helicopter to the top of the maze, search for me, n drag me out. then i'll be FREE, FREED away from all these miseries.

if tt day realli comes, i think i will be veri happy. cos it is the day when i can be back to my dad's side, can c ms ho n her little small family n all my relatives who i had nt seen b4. tt will oso be the day tt i will be officialli nt stress up anymore, nt think anymore, juz floating ard lazily.

am i realli thinking too much? worried myself too much?
there is this possibility. cos i had been using my brain to protect myself ever since my dad had passed away ard 12 yrs ago. these thinkings n worries had somehow been acting like a shield tt protects me both mentalli n physicalli. i might be young but my thinkings r as old as a full grown adult. coming frm a complicated family, i realli learned a lot of stuff tt ppl frm my age wun c it, wun noe it. maybe is cos of these additional stuff tt makes the diff. tt makes my thinkings so diff tt it acts more like a wall than a shield. think too much liao la.

todae is the rare few times tt ppl c me breakdown n so in lost of wrds. seriously, i oso dunno y i breakdown. im neither angry nor upset by the meeting, its juz, dun feel like following it thru, there is no focus although im in it. juz felt veri lost. lost till i wanna giv up. juz giv up sab, then go focus on other core mods. so tt it will balance up my grade. i had onli shread a tear when lum tried to counsel me, cheer me up. counseling is juz so bad lolx. everytime ppl come counsel me, i sure will shread tears. i think tts my weakest link, too emotional.