if i tell u im happy im alrite, i will be telling a downright lie. there is juz this mixture of anger n sadness in me. tot of wat i said yestd during i&e class, strength: collaboration. im questioning myself now, is collaboration really my strength? if yes, y aint the works completed when tml is the due date? i no longer hav the rushness for work, no longer hav the rushness to maple or anything else. how i wish time will pause at this time, for me to sob over it. im realli upset, upset till i wanna cry, but yet, no tears came out. no tears came out no matter how sad the song im listening to is.

do i hav the strength to hold on to till the end of sem? i must hav strength for my studies. hope tt i wun collapse midway. i nd the strength to carried out my responsibilities of my grp. im currently at my downfall as all the team members r my frens, neither of them i would like to hurt. 1 will nv start working unless told to do so. the other likes to go out wif frens at unexpected circumstances. the last, though will work, but will be in maple most of the time. in order nt to hurt them, i tried n tried to compromise. compromise till im quite outta breath now.

maybe i shldnt hav start mapling in the 1st place. maybe there is realli no such things as work hard n play hard tgt. when im working, im thinking of mapling. but when im mapling, im thinking abt work. n now, i had my frens addicted to it. no say, im addicted too, is juz tt my mind is of a weird combination. n i hav to settle things both in msn n maple.

or shld i say, its a wrong choice to choose working wif frens. yes, i cant deny tt there is fun involved when working wif frens. but yet, there will be much of a chance to depend on. when ppl depends on u n u wun want to hurt them, u end up doing lotsa things. too much till u r outta breath. n im in tt state now. too softhearted to frens??? maybe...