cant believe tt 1 simple dinner can set me thinking round n round since it had ended till now... its the 1st time we had sat down to eat since wat had happened... i had a tot of nt gg but 我还是去了cos the dinner was in name of alex's bday celebration. but in the end, i ended up confused n affected...

firstly, the choice of dinner... i really hope tt it is a coincidence but my mind tells me it is not... i posted as part of my status tt i feel like having steamboat with frens on thurs n we went for it last night. my mind tells me tt it is nt purely coincidence as i had nv had steamboat with my uni frens except for tt one time with him n 大哥. but the guys were like so set with having steamboat last night. dun seems to be as simple as it is... but then again, out of the 3, i wun know who had suggested it...

secondly, the 默契 tt we still hav... 我觉得什么事情都可以骗可以隐瞒，但默契是装不了的. especially when we had nt talked for so long... was asked to guess wat is bq's bro's name with the initals bx... there is so many chinese guy names with the inital x but the 1st one tt came to our mind is 'xian' n we said it out almost the same time... then i started rmb-ing wat botak commented in lab when we said hi to him tgt when the thing was still fresh... 天在作弄我吗?

another thing tt had set me into thinking tt doesnt come from the dinner... ive noticed for the past few wks, he had been alighting at wkw bus stop rather than the usual innovation center bus stop... the weird thing is, he always seems to walk all the way to cant b for breakfast. it really makes me think y he does tt as logically, it will be much more convenient to alight as the innovation center bus stop if u wanna go cant b...

每当我以为我渐渐的遗忘了那种感觉，就会有情况发生，让我从错觉中清醒。每走十步，就倒退三四步。有时很难过，有时很混乱，有时心会酸酸的。有时会想，“如果当初我跟他讲出我的感觉，结果还会像现在这样吗？”，“他在我们这‘友达以上，恋人未满’的友谊期间，有没有和我一样的感觉？”

现在我看到的他，没有我想象中的开心，但也没有我当初想象的那么伤心。不知道他最近到底过得怎样。感觉上，他表面显示的，不是他的真正心情。看来我还是挺在乎他的，让我觉得我以作的决定是对的。

不是我不想和你做朋友。只不过，我觉得我现在还不可以把你只当朋友，回到当初我们刚认识的时候。我真的很想很想要回你这个朋友。相信我，当时基成熟，当我认为我对你的在乎以便回朋友之间的在乎，我一定会像经办法当回你的朋友。